Looking for love at the first swipe

“Putting yourself out there is scary … there’s always something about us that can shake and wobble,” says Brammer, whose advice column ¡Hola Papi!, actually started through Grindr. “Oftentimes we look into that bad date and we think, ‘OK, what’s wrong with me?'”

But a date isn’t a mirror. And a dating app should be a tool for connection, not a portal for our anxieties, Brammer says.

Flipping the script starts with taking control of your narrative. And being willing to put in the work, says certified dating coach Damona Hoffman.

“You can be online and swiping within minutes. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to have a quality experience if you haven’t gone into it with a sense of purpose,” says Hoffman.

Read on for tips from Hoffman and Brammer for navigating the world of dating apps, or listen to the full podcast at the top of the page.